Originally written: October 9th, 2018
Shutdown. Denial. Dissociation.
These are our biggest enemies.
Numbing out. Repressing. Disconnecting.
These will close our hearts.
And if we are warriors of divine love, this contraction is how we lose our superpowers.
Let’s not give them that power.
Short periods of shut down can happen to all of us. That’s ok. Sometimes, we need a moment to sink into the shit so it can fuel something deeper. Most of the weekend, I laid in a haze of trauma fog and a puddle of heartache feeling all my chronic pain… from the place in my body that still holds the unwanted touch of a stranger to the cells in my body that still hold onto the shame, guilt, and anger of countless violations.
But the key is not to stay there. Because that’s when you solidify the shutdown and it turns into depression, chronic pain, isolation, life-threatening disease.
Our bodies are a map of all our experiences, the magical openings and the deadening offenses, the experiences of our lives and the experiences of our maternal ancestors who live in our DNA.
No matter how or where you find your unique expression, moving your body is the key to your liberation. Embodying your truth is the revolution.
Yesterday, after I completed my Kundalini practice, my body commanded me to dance. She asked me not to keep her shackled in the prison she’s been in for years. She asked me to trust her movements, her leadership, her sensations. My mind didn’t want to. I wanted to stay slumped over and sad. I wanted to stay in a depressed heap of angry, victimized thoughts.
But I’ve worked with my body enough years to trust her and her impulses. And I’ve worked long enough with my mind to know when my thoughts aren’t serving me.
And so I slowed down. I connected to my breath. My heart. My curves. The anger in my fingers and toes. And I allowed myself to embrace the messy, unchoreographed journey of my body’s truth. I allowed myself to follow every single honest impulse.
My invitation to you sisters, today, and always, is to allow your body a dance of reclamation. At a time when our bodies continue to be pawns in the political patriarchal power play, the claiming of your own embodiment is your biggest superpower.
Many years ago, Viktor Frankl wrote: “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
Today, I say: “Everything can be taken from a woman but one last thing: her embodied truth.” They can put us in cages but they can’t stop us from dancing within them. Don’t let them convince you that they have that power. Your relationship with your body’s sensations, her pleasures, her pain, her passion is yours and only yours. No one can take that away from you.
Gaslighting, especially the collective kind that often happens in dystopian scenarios can really mess with your mind. It can have you question your truth to the point of insanity. However, if your relationship to your sensations, your intuition, your body as a compass of truth is strong enough, nothing around you will have you doubt your truth. THAT IS YOUR SUPERPOWER.
If you shut down, if you allow the bitterness to penetrate into your muscles and your fascia, you are recreating their external cage in your physiology. If you let yourself disconnect, you are surrendering your divine weapon. If you let yourself numb out for too long, you are resigning your innate power.
So today, get up and join me. Join me in reclaiming your embodiment. Let’s dance and move through the rage, through the disappointment, through the fear, through the disgust. Alchemize the emotion into fire, into sovereignty, into freedom. Let’s continuously tap back into the feeling of our embodied truth.
I love you.
P.S. Spots for coaching with me in the new year are filling up! If you are feeling the call to free yourself of all this BS and get back to a place of remembering your essence and embodying your truth, reach out.