As I bid farewell to Bali and return to New York, I find myself wanting to stay truly connected to all my senses and the deep level of embodiment I feel when I am on the beautiful island of Bali. I saunter through Bali. I stop and smell the roses (or should I say the frangipani flower), I can spend 20 mins watching the geckos on the wall, or listening to the rain splatter on the leaves.
In New York, it’s so easy to get right back to running across town at lightning speed so you can make sure to hustle your way through your to-do list in time for happy hour drinks with your girls. And not to say this is quintessentially wrong. You all know how much I love me a dirty martini with my gals.
I love both lifestyles. I love both paces. But the more time passes, the more times I return to New York, the more I crave an integration of the Bali in me with the New York in me.
Are you craving a similar balance? Of hustle and ease? Of movement and stillness? Of reaching for the stars and spending the night just watching the stars?
If so, watch this video here where I explore a bunch of different embodiment practices I try to integrate into my daily life to help with the whole you know “being in yo body thang.”
So much of my journey, and so much of the journey of many women these days is to get out of their heads and into their bodies. To trust the amazing intelligence of their bodies more, to cultivate an ally relationship with their bodies and to start to decipher the language of their body’s voice.
One way we do this is through a meditation practice. A chance to sit still and truly sink into silence. Or if you’re like me, some days it feels less like melting into bliss and more like drowning in the weight of your thoughts with the occasional gasp of oxygen. But either way, just the commitment of sitting down to do this helps in chilling us the fuck out. Aka letting the mind control you less and letting your body lead.
So masturbation. Oh that thing we don’t talk about because… oh god where do I even begin. Our parents. Religion. The belief that we’ll be deemed horny sluts. And listen, I’m with you. I’m writing this praying my dad will NEVER come across this page because he’ll have a freakin heart attack.
But still, I choose to bring it up because it’s so much more important than we think!
Many women come to me because their libido is low. Yes, sometimes it’s hormonal imbalance. But many times it’s also stress. Or both. The truth is many times we really cannot single out the source, holistically. It’s like trying to find the beginning of the circle. There isn’t one.
But the upside to holistic solutions, is that you also don’t always HAVE to pinpoint the beginning of the circle. You can virtually start anywhere on the circle and it will affect the rest of the cycle, the rest of the system.
To bring this back to loving yourself, this means that you disconnect from your vag, your yoni (or like my pole teacher used to love saying, your “ladyflower”). This can happen when you are too in your head; when you’re not breathing into anything below your belly; when you’re scared to spend time meditating on that area because it’s “INSERT THOUGHT HERE”
- a waste of time
- not necessary cuz you’re not single
- feels too good
- doesn’t feel good
- too exciting
- you’re too busy
- that’s just weird
- you’re not feeling it
All these thoughts stop of us from the true source of our power as women: EMBODIMENT. To be truly connected to the vessel we live in, to be fluent in our body’s needs and desires, and to be profoundly in love with ourselves,
That’s other than the amazing physiological benefits of both meditation & masturbation. I won’t geek out on you and keep it short. Happy hormones flooding the brain. Nervous system chiling out. Senses hyperstimulated so you feel vibrant and alive.
So what do you think? A little candle light date with yourself tonight?
Let me know how it goes in the comments below.