Jesus Christ, yesterday was brutal.
One of those days where I woke up bright & bushy-tailed at 5:30am with visions of kicking ass all day. I had a detailed plan of how it was all gonna go down. Mapping out a program, responding to emails, correcting my teacher trainees’ assignment.
And by 7:30am, I had peeked into my inbox and realized some stuff had GONE DOWN throughout the weekend. Needless to say the rest of the day was spent putting out fires.
I thought of hopping on instastory to talk about what was going on. I’m usually all about showing up authentically, but the look I was rockin’ was less “cute vulnerable girl with one tear streaming down her face” and more like “who killed kenny” as I tried to disappear in my hoodie for all eternity.
I just did not want to be responsible for breaking instagram with my puffy, oily face.
So I’m writing about it today, instead.
In personal development, we often talk about “rewiring neural pathways”. The idea that with enough practice, we can carve out new patterns of thinking.
Rarely, do we talk about breaking body patterns.
As much as I despise the experience of days like yesterday, I also have so much appreciation for them. Because they bring me out of auto-pilot.
And auto-pilot is the enemy of growth. You may think, but Nadia, the opposite of growth is contraction or regression. I don’t think so. Based on nature’s cycles, contraction usually comes before expansion, regression comes before momentum. That’s where the idea of two steps forward, one step back comes from.
Instead, it’s our comfort zone, our default patterns, our autopilot that is the true enemy of growth.
Challenging days like yesterday yank me out of my graceful lyrical leadership dance. Days like yesterday feel like that humbling moment when you trip on your own feet walking down the street. The spectrum of consequences can totally vary.
It can just be plain embarrassing. And you could fall flat on your face and have a serious bruise.
But you can bet that the next few steps you’ll take, you’ll probably carry yourself differently.
At Sfactor, I always celebrate women stumbling in their dances. At first, women are always scared to dance in their heels because God forbid, they fall on their faces. However, every stumble I’ve ever witnessed at Sfactor has led to a huge a-ha for the student.
Because the fall breaks their pattern. It confuses the mind and allows for pure primal body wisdom to take over. It allows for the true story in their bodies to unfold.
At Embody, I always encourage women to move with a part of their body that doesn’t usually move as much. At first, women are hesitant and feel clunky. However, every time they move their attention to a new place in their body, they break a default muscle pattern and experience pure bliss.
Because the new movements allow for a new opportunity – like a fresh canvas to paint their story on. And authentic expression instantly brings on bliss. Both for the person dancing and the blessed person who gets to witness (that’s me!!!).
In so many somatic modalities, muscle exertion is encouraged. It is a way of tiring your muscles SO much that you have no choice but to surrender. In that physical surrender, usually, some sort of shaking occurs.
This is what TRE (trauma release exercises) is based on. I was led through a session last year with one of my mentors, Margherita Tisato and it was so cool to see that with enough exertion, I could allow my limbs to shake out emotional trauma out of my fascia. I was fascinated, yet again, by the incredible intelligence of my body. She is so badass when I just let her do her THING!
So now I use this concept all the time. Just in yoga the other day, I was folding over in a yin pose and my leg started to shake. In the past, I may have pulled back an inch just to not look like I’m totally spazzing in the middle of class. But instead, I let my body shake it out. And eventually, my leg relaxed into a deeper stretch than ever before.
Yesterday challenged me to take a step back and look at where I was floating on autopilot in my leadership, where I was dancing in the familiar and going through the expected motions.
And after the initial fall, I allowed myself to flail and shake, do some self-reflection and get some sister-reflections, and I was able to deepen into a new version of leadership that felt more open and authentic than before.
Our bodies have the wisdom. And our movement has the medicine. We just have to trust that every fall is part of the divine dance.
Each month we will be highlighting a member of our Embody Teaching Team. This month, we are featuring Kendra Tanner.
Kendra is the magical faerie behind Embody Teacher Training. She was the sister who kept insisting I start training women in this modality until I surrendered and said YES. She also finds the BEST dance mashups EVER. If you ever have the pleasure of taking her class in Swansea, Wales or London, you’ll see for yourself!
Kendra has been through the fire with her body and her self and came out the other side loving and embracing her womanhood in a way she never thought possible. She found the sustainable solution to her own eating disorder hinged upon her embracing and being her truest self. She guides women on their journey out of the fight with food and their bodies and believes that when a woman can connect to herself through her body, her healing is accelerated and her voice can finally be heard. Based in Wales, she is excited to bring Embody to the UK, and help women find their soul’s expression through dance.
She recently wrote about her experience with Embody on her blog HERE & and you can find her upcoming classes HERE.
I get this question pretty frequently, because unlike life, love or business coaching, embodiment can be a confusing concept.
Simply put, the goal of embodiment coaching is to get you more connected to your body. And the reason you want that is because your body is the most powerful tool for upgrading your experience AND effectiveness as a LEADER.
Long gone are the days where pushing through the pain is the way to succeed, where disregarding your body’s signals is a means to an end, where eye on the prize is the key to your power.
Instead, we are shifting into a paradigm where our body gets to play too. Our body gets to teach us about leadership and power and freedom. Our body gets to weigh in on our decisions. Our body gets to guide us towards a balanced leadership of our masculine and feminine energies, our yin and yang, our emotions and our actions, our present and our future.
Only problem is that most of us are disconnected from our bodies.
The work of embodiment is that of cultivating DEEP trust in our bodies when we’ve been living in a world that constantly strips it away from us.
How can you trust your own body when you aren’t taught her wisdom, her rhythms, her language and her power?
When doctors prescribe band-aid solutions, and men push past your nos?
When beauty products give you step-by-step instructions on managing your body like a project?
And billboards only show you ONE version of “healthy” and “desirable”?
That’s how you lost trust in your body’s power.
So how do you get it back? Embodiment.
*** What does embodiment coaching look like? ***
If you are struggling with letting go and flowing even though you know it’s the next layer of leadership for you, then we would begin by exploring your EXHALE. The power, the lessons and the experience of truly embodying an exhale.
If you are struggling to connect to your own voice and intuition, and you want to play by your own rules but you just keep finding yourself rehashing the same formula that bores you to tears, then we begin at your INHALE. We begin by cultivating a trust in your next breath and your next move through unchoreographed movement.
If you are learning to trust that your pleasure will deliver you the freedom you desire, then we would begin by exploring your SENSUAL BODY and your DESIRES. How can you find pleasure in your touch, taste, sound and scent? We would work on expanding your capacity for PLEASURE.
If you are feeling blah and disconnected from the world and you just can’t quite figure out how to plug back in, we would begin with an exploration of the sacred within through MOVING MEDITATIONS.
If you are creatively blocked and feel like 100 scripts are running through your mind at any given time, then we work on NIXING THE NOISE. Cleansing, clearing and compassing. Removing the static from your channel so the muse can visit.
Want to create sacred space?
We work on MUSCLES and BOUNDARIES.
Want to feel more feminine?
We play with SWIRLING, FLOWING, curvy movements. WATER in your veins.
Want to expand your freedom?
We begin with embodying LIGHTNESS and AIR.
Want to feel more clear?
We work on finding your BALANCE and CENTER through the chaos. EARTH in your feet. SOVEREIGNTY in your movements.
Want to find your power?
We find the FIRE in your body.
This is Embodiment Coaching.
This is about sinking deeper into your own experience, your own trust and your own body wisdom.
This is about growing taller by rooting deeper.
This is about pulling in what you desire externally by embodying it first internally.
I only work with a handful of womxn at a time. Depending on when you are reading this, I may have an opening in my practice.
These are reserved for womxn who:
– Are interested in getting a feel for my flavor of coaching before making a decision.
– Ready to invest ~5k into transforming their leadership and body connection in the world.
– Are excited to devote 6-12 months for us to co-create this reality together.
You can APPLY HERE.
Loving you wherever you are on your journey…
If now is not the time for you to invest in this type of coaching, please know that you are ALWAYS welcome in my private FB group EMBODY Community where we offer free online community events, embodiment prompts and lifelong sisterhood.