We hoped for the masculine to be our savior.
We thought our brothers would protect us.
And our fathers wouldn’t shame us.
We yearned for our partners to be our trusted guides.
We wanted the system we operated in to champion our success, always.
We expected the hustle to bring us joy,
The spreadsheets to organize our dreams,
And our milestones to nourish us deeply.
But we were disappointed.
So now we walk around,
With heavy hearts expecting…
These expectations have become the norm in our psyches.
I understand you’re scared,
I know your bones ache with violations and your heart beats for the day that it’s safe to be your erotic, sensual self.
I know your veins flow with the dream of unconditional love and a naked heart but right now when you feel inward, all you see is a wall of stacked disappointments.
I know your skin yearns for the pure caress and sweet kisses of a man who reveres you.
All of you.
Your soft belly and your calloused feet.
Your expansive giggles and your crunchy moods.
Your misty eyes and your dry elbows.
Your adoring heart and your anxious, insecure thoughts.
All of you.
The storm in you that brings with it thunder and rain.
The lit embers in your belly that are asking to be sparked into a full fire.
The dry riverbed within you that is waiting for the melting snow to bring you a river of spring.
The toiled soil of your heart that aches of a seed to be planted.
you must light your own fire,
sit with your own storm,
patiently wait through your winter for the gift of a spring stream
and plant your own seeds of dreams in your heart.
This is the work of healing your relationship to the masculine.
This is the work of healing your mistrust in your own inner man.
This is the work of dancing back into Embodied Union.
We have it all confused.
For ages, we’ve been measuring wealth with one primary factor: money. This is such a narrow perspective.. and I’ll tell you why.
I’m writing this on a plane on my way back from my yearly visit to my family in Beirut. It’s always great to get a chance to spend some QT with my entire extended family – and let me tell you, there’s A LOT of them. However, going home is also the time of the year when I get sucked dry to the bone. And believe it or not, I’m grateful for that too.
Not because I like the feeling of my insides as shriveled as a raisin but because the trip has become a marker for me. It reminds me of how wealthy I am. Not with boatloads of money (yet!) but with LIFE FORCE.
Let me explain…
Each year, the pilgrimage back to a post-war developing country that’s suffering from MAJOR collective PTSD, destruction, pollution and political corruptness…
…combined with the wonderful family dynamics I get the opportunity to regress back into…
…combined with my unwillingness to NOT eat all the childhood Lebanese treats that I love and am also quite intolerant to…
… combined with zero privacy, no access to nature and a hard time keeping any semblance of a morning movement practice…
… has me usually reaching the brink of insanity by Day 12. Which is why this year I scheduled a 13-day trip.
Each year, I get a bit better at taking care of my self.
Each trip I’m able to prepare just a little better (by bringing my trusted snacks and green powder from the US), by asking ahead of time if the blender is working, by doing my kundalini yoga right smack in the middle of the living room even if kids are running around and doorbells are ringing, by saying no to people I really want to see so I can honor my equally-important need for quiet time… This year I even created a pre & post-trip document to support me for future trips.
But ultimately, my trip to Beirut is always a whirlwind of appointment after appointment sandwiched between dairy & gluten-heavy meals and sprinkled with a few triggering conversations with my father about how I should give up my “passion” project (aka my coaching business) to get a real job.
By the time I get on the plane, all I can think about is how much I love dancing, going to yoga, cooking vibrant organic veggies for myself, spending time in nature and space to breathe. It’s not the activities themselves that I actually crave… it’s the feeling they create in me.
The feeling of vibrancy, presence, aliveness, connection, and peace.
This is why I love taking my trip. Because it continues to stand as a stark contrast to how I want to live my life. Just like I really enjoy spring after winter or fall after summer, I really enjoy remembering that many people live a life where their insides feel like a dried up raisin. And it reminds me that my life feels JUICY AF 90% of the time. Even when that juice is pain, challenge, or sadness. It’s life force juice.
Now, I’m not saying money shouldn’t be factored in, but we are missing the big picture of wealth here because we are skipping over what it is that can generate that money in your life in the first place…
Life force is your biggest asset. It is the foundation of what you need to actually ENJOY life and be present to it – whether you have $5 in your bank account or $5 million.
The sweet golden nectar of Life force (also called shakti energy, creative energy, god/dess, divine love, feminine energy) is what flows through you to create vibrancy and aliveness. It’s what allows you to generate more and more love internally, and consequently externally.
Nothing else matters if there’s no life force. Think of a plant that hasn’t gotten sunlight or water. Think of a dry riverbed or a bird that can’t fly. The only currency in their reality is life force.
So why should it be any different in ours? Just because we have created money as a currency as part of our evolution doesn’t exempt us from the laws of nature.
We have evolved in a direction that doesn’t serve our essence.
The evolution of civilization to a point where we revere mind over body, where our primary economic system requires money for us to survive and where our worth and social status is directly tied to our bank account has messed with us.
We are chasing our own tail. It’s futile!
Instead of our life force generating money and money representing how much life force we have flowing through us, money has often become a symbol of how much we are willing to denounce our life force to “make it” in the world AND our lack of money seems to correlate with how willing we are to keep our life force.
There ARE a select few visionaries and revolutionaries who have started to pave the way for the new paradigm we are moving into: FEMININE LEADERSHIP…
…Where reverence and cultivation of our life force IS what generates our money.
But this can only happen when you truly choose your life force over all the perceived gifts and privileges that a full wallet can offer. Over and over again.
It can only happen when there is deep trust in divine love as the strongest force and highest vibration on the planet.
It can only happen when every choice you make is one step toward more life force, not less.
So as I make my way back to a world where life force is my priority 352 days of the year… I want to hear from you… What are you choosing to do to add more life force and love into your body?