About a month ago, I stumbled across a Zouk dance video on youtube. I was mesmerized. I watched it over and over again.
My visceral response was goosebumps, tears and a deep yearning to experience exactly that.
At the time, I felt it was primarily a symbol of what I wanted in partnership:
- The beautiful dance between structure and flow, masculine and feminine, alpha omega energies.
- And the level of trust required and surrendered ecstasy she experiences when she allows herself to be so beautifully led by the male dancer.
- The whirling that reminded me of Sufi dancing (which I’m equally obsessed with).
- And the drunk-on-God faces of the dancers that has become a familiar feeling in my body and my students.
Watching it felt like watching an animated infinity sign.
You don’t even know where the leading ends and the followings begins. Who is initiating what move and when. That is the power of sexy AF leadership.
It felt like all I wanted in life.
Earlier this year, I came to a clear realization that my relationship to my business was the final frontier in my healing with the masculine.
I realized I saw my business as this patriarchal dictator who made me do things.
Never good when you’re in the business of sexy, sensual and well, feminine leadership!
Obviously, this hadn’t been conscious. But the second, it came into the light, I was like “fuck, well that’s not gonna work.”
So I took a step back to evaluate EVERYTHING in my business. All the structures my business was built on. The areas that felt sexy and yummy and the areas that felt forced and authoritarian.
The obligation of showing up on social media versus the inspiration of creating revolution that uses social media to support it.
Very different energies.
So the last six months had me slowing down so much I could see all the areas that weren’t 100% nourishing me.
All I did was coach like a mofo (which I always love) but I was not allowed to strategize about anything. Only follow my pleasure… coaching and spending A LOT of time in the sun by the beach being a happy human.
But I still couldn’t quite figure out what I wanted instead of the model I had.
I mean how does someone even do business without instagram???!?!!?
Without emailing their community every month?
And without strategizing their next creative project?
How do you tap into your model of business when you are not meant to do it like anyone else?
There’s no mentor to shadow…
No formula to follow…
And no specific steps to execute.
After enough time on my strategy hiatus, I came back with fresh eyes and energy into a mastermind meeting where I found myself talking about how I wanted the structure of my business to hold me and lead me like a sexy hot tango dancer.
And then I remembered the Zouk video.
Oh wait. I wanted a ZOUK dancer… Fuck yeah.
I pulled up the video to share with my mastermind sisters and realized the song they were dancing to was also one of my favorite songs that had first visited me in Bali when I was in year one of my business.
When all these pieces came together,
I wept with relief, sorrow and delight.
Of course, my business is meant to be a dance!!! A dance of the sexiest fucking combo of masculine and feminine energies creating a swirling infinity sign that brings us closer to our divinity.