Each month we feature one of our Embody Teachers. This month is Misha Everts!
Misha is a mom, military spouse, holistic health coach, and self-admitted hippy at heart. Misha lives in the Midwest US with her family love of nature. Embody quickly found a special place in Misha’s body during her first Embody class. While dancing with 300 other women, she quickly realized how numb she had been in her core being. That class immediately led her on a journey to discover more about embodiment as a whole. She believes that the path to true health and wellness has to start in your body and not in your head. Having the tools and awareness to use the full range of emotionality is the essential magic to clearing blocks and healing for the feminine. Tapping into that magic within starts with Embody. So let’s hijack the magic inside us together. See you in class.
For information on Misha’s classes in St. Robert, check out @misha.everts.
I’ve been intentionally taking the month to reflect and re-evaluate things…
From my new Covid morning bagel habit to key offerings in my business.
It’s so important for us to always take time to really take inventory on where we are, what we’ve done and what we don’t want to do anymore.
Especially with the pandemic, every day can just bleed into the next. And it’s important to split up our year into quarters or months and give ourselves a pat on the back for ALL THE THINGS.
For me, March is such a milestone month personally. It marks a month where I broke free from an abusive relationship. (I wrote about it here.)
And it’s also a month where I met my soulmate.
Something about March always signals huge life-changing decisions.
Some easy YESes!
Some excruciatingly painful NOs that only come after a lot of back & forth.
The Embody Collective has been one of those. The short story is we have decided to press pause as of May.
We think this is a pause and not an end.
I have wrestled and tugged and tried to creatively solve something that just didn’t feel good in my body – which was managing a membership. And yet similar to Embody itself, The Collective seems to have a life of its own. It wants to live. Even though I have tried repeatedly to kill it. Because I don’t want to do the backend systems stuff that makes me crazy contracted.
I just want to coach. 🙂
So we are taking a pause to see if and how we want to create the shiny, sparkly Collective 2.0.
(Btw, if you joined us at any point, we would love to get your feedback! As a thank you, we would add you to the founder’s list which gives you access to future discounts & bonuses not offered to the public.)
I’ve also been reflecting on how grateful I am for you.
For being here. For trusting me. For trusting your body.
So thank you.
(aka: Shit we don’t talk about in the Polarity world)
My former partner is a good man.
He is also a wounded man.
My former partner loved me deeply.
And he abused me tremendously.
All of these are true.
For so long, I resisted referring to my previous relationship as abusive.
I didn’t want to be judged as dramatic.
I didn’t want be just another womxn who threw a man under the bus because I didn’t have my own boundaries in check.
I didn’t want to belittle our love.
I didn’t want to abdicate myself from responsibility.
I didn’t want to paint him in a bad light.
I didn’t want to be that person airing my dirty laundry publicly.
I didn’t want to negate all the ways that relationship also nourished me and helped me rise into my power.
This post took over 8 months for me to write. I kept coming back to it. Adding. Deleting. Pausing. Chewing. Grieving. Expressing. Deleting.
When I first sat down to begin writing it, I could hear my former partner’s angry voice criticizing me for what I was doing.
Getting in my head about all the ways I should rise above this behavior.
About how it’s disgraceful to share information like this gratuitously on social media.
About how I’m not operating from my “higher self.”
That’s how master manipulators work.
They burrow themselves into your psyche and gaslight you so often that you cannot find your center.
You don’t know where up and where down is.
You float through reality questioning every single move you make.
And that’s how they flip things around so that THEIR reality becomes YOUR center point.
I wanted so badly to be that person who could be friends with her ex for life.
(Where we would be at each other’s weddings and do business together and joke about the days when we were dating to our future partners.)
So I resisted. I hoped. That maybe it could be that way.
But I was haunted.
Even as the charge of the relationship dissolved…
Even as I moved into the next chapter of my life…
And even as I’ve been finding forgiveness in my heart for both of our struggles…
I’m haunted by something much bigger than the relationship.
I’m haunted by the reality of womxn everywhere who are also in abusive dynamics.
In particular the womxn in the Conscious Relating/Polarity Practice/Tantra World.
Because we are fed only ONE type of abusive relationship.
And there’s a trickier, more nuanced version out there under the guise of Conscious Relating.
So I’m talking to you, the womxn who is trying so deeply to be more devoted and more surrendered and more “feminine”,
With a partner who is weaponizing these concepts to keep you confused, destabilized and disempowered.
I’ve been seeing this pattern more and more everywhere I look.
Even in teachers of this work.
(Trust me, I questioned how much of this was me looking through the world from trauma-induced glasses or just being a brat after a break-up.)
But I’m willing to take that risk.
If it helps just ONE womxn.
Now let me be clear. This post is NOT meant to demonize the practice OR the partners that are perpetuating this abuse.
I believe we are all trying our best.
I’m here to share what I think is often missing in the work.
Polarity practice has given me so much.
And polarity practice also imprisoned me.
Or I should I say, I imprisoned myself in it.
I went really hard. I took all the tools and I got down on my knees and devoted myself to this work.
This helped me move through the muck that the world had plastered in my body.
It helped me hold deeply uncomfortable emotional poses in devotion to shifting neural pathways and relational dynamics.
It helped me see how my expression was a gift to the world.
It taught me the power in submission.
It showed me the bliss in my expression.
It connected me to God through ecstasy and pain.
All beautiful things…
If you’re with the right partner.
And we are often with the wrong partner.
The practice isn’t the problem.
It’s who you are practicing with.
There are so many layers and nuances to this conversation that I cannot possibly clarify it all in one post.
But if I had to sum it up, I believe the problem is that we are operating these tools without TRUST.
Trust in ourselves.
Trust in our bodies.
Trust in our partners.
And trust in our teachers.
Do you trust your body when she says no?
Do you trust your partner with your life?
Do you trust the teachers who taught you these concepts?
Do you trust your body when she’s sick around them all the time?
Or do you blame that on yourself?
Do you trust your body when she refuses to open fully over and over and over again?
Or do you think you’re broken?
Do you trust your body when she feels heavy and ugly around them?
Or you believe that you just need to “open your heart more”?
Our discernment is based on their attunement.
And their attunement is OFTEN off.
Because we are all living in a world that is constantly distracting us and disconnected us from our discernment and their attunement.
Our animal bodies don’t lie.
Do you trust your partner’s clarity?
Or do you put the weight of the relationship working on YOUR shoulders only?
Do you trust your partner’s heart?
Or do you believe “if I am just devotional enough”, they will claim me?
Do you trust your partner’s consciousness?
Or do you find yourself having to clear out their energy AND yours?
This is a two-way dance. A tango of trauma.
And I’m not alleviating you of your inner work.
There IS a lot of that.
There was for me.
I’m just suggesting you don’t take it in for the TWO of you.
You might be the one championing the “we”, the union, the unit.
But it is NOT your job to process both of your traumas.
So today, take a good look in the mirror.
And ask yourself…
Where is the trust?
And if you can’t find it.
Begin with your sweet, soft animal body. She purrs and she hisses.
Which one is she doing more of these days?
Begin by finding your center.
Recall your energy from THEIR reality and pull it back into yours.
Find your ground.
Find your desire.
Find your fire.
Practice Polarity on the foundation of TRUST.
Without TRUST it can become a cesspool of trauma with a side of 1950s patriarchy masked as CONSCIOUS.
Find the one you trust with your life.
And give them your heart.