I Don’t Need You

I know how it feels to have another Valentine’s Day approaching while you feel defeated by love.
The ache for loving touch,
The yearning to be seen,
To be breathed,
To be held tight…

But you don’t care about Valentine’s Day. It’s a silly Hallmark-sponsored, consumer facade of BS. Right?

Except it still sucks.
The gaping hole is still there.

I know the way that disappointment begins to calcify in your heart.
The way that you pretend you don’t need anyone.
And the way your hopeless romantic continues to scroll through the apps, scan the grocery checkout lines and hope that the next person that stops you for directions is going to be “THE ONE.”

I know the pain of accepting that another love story you wrote a whole novel on just ended in Chapter 1.

You are complete, 

You are loved – no matter what.

You are fucking badass and shouldn’t settle!

But I know the longing for your Beloved. It pummels you when you least expect it. Like a shot in the heart.

We can pretend all we want that we don’t “need them.”

But the truth is we DO need love. We DO need touch. We DO need connection.

It may not come on the schedule and in the place or the person we expect but it comes.

Everything about my love story was not how I imagined it to be.
But it ended up being better.

But f*ck I was RIGHT THERE… in the gaping, never-ending hole of longing.

But I would pretend I wasn’t. I would walk around the world pretending “I don’t need you.” 

Everything breath I took, every gaze I offered, every dance I swirled through… was me trying to convince them “I don’t need you.”

It wasn’t until I let my heart break so deeply and visibly that I truly invited love in.

It wasn’t until I broke down the walls through sobbing prayer that I allowed for truth to drip into my cells.

It wasn’t until I stopped trying to be strong that I allowed myself to be powerful.

Even if we don’t know each other, I love your beautiful, tender heart.

Don’t pretend you don’t care.
Don’t sit at home Netflixing the next show alone.
Don’t roll your eyes at the cheesiness.

Instead, come join me and my Beloved. We are spontaneously hosting a call for your aching heart (details here).

You don’t have to say a single thing. You can just show up as a gift to yourself and your (future) Beloved and allow yourself just be in your embodied truth as you soak up the questions of other participants.

I urge you to stop pretending you don’t need anyone and begin to ask for support.
(and p.s. it does not have to be at one of our calls… just in life!)

And remember, your heart (and EVERYTHING she feels) is a gift.

Bring her with you.

See you in the longing…